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Roundabout, Turnabout - Chapter 7/? 
18th-Sep-2009 04:19 pm
edward fucking cullen

Title: Roundabout, Turnabout (7/?)
Klassisa Vernette
Rated: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Edward/Bella, all canon pairings
Summary: Edward Cullen was horny, and wanted a fuck. And he would get it by all means. But what happens when a mysterious brown-eyed girl comes along? Will he still have the same mindset as before? Or will she change his life forever?
Warnings: Contains explicit adult content and should only be viewed by adults.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight franchise and am making no money from writing this. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author’s Note: I apologize for the long wait. So many things have occurred in the last few months that have taken main priority, but I'm back now. So here's chapter 7. Enjoy!


Swine Flu Gym

After shuffling around a bit, I gathered myself and left the biology room where undoubtedly the hottest eye-fuck from the hottest guy just occurred. To prove a point, my knees were still wobbly from the effect of Edward Cullen.

Which didn’t help my next disaster: Gym.

It was a good ten minutes later when I finally found myself standing awkwardly inside Forks High School’s gym. I was glad I was the first one there because I still hadn’t been able to shake off Edward Cullen’s effect, and my cheeks flushed at just the thought of his eyes on me. My girls were also still feeling a bit tingly, and they too showed their emotions well through my thin gym shirt.

“Sooooooo,” an annoying voice sang next to me. “I heard you’re Cullen’s next target.”

Resisting what would’ve been a well-deserved groan, I turned to see Jessica Stanley twirling her hair around her finger, glaring daggers through narrowed eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Save the bullshit, Bella,” she snapped. “Everyone saw him eye-fucking you from across the campus. He looked like he wanted to eat you alive.”

I shuffled my feet awkwardly because I honestly didn’t know what to say. The majority of me wanted to jump up and down like a prepubescent girl, ecstatic that the cute guy she liked was ogling her. The other small percentage however was a bit concerned. Winning this… seduction match against Edward was one thing, but to have other people in on the details? No thank you.

Stanley’s eyes grew into slits as my silence continued.

“I knew it,” she spat. “Barely the first day and you’re already fucking him? Classy.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I repeated. “That’s not cool. What is your problem? I didn’t do shit to you.” Right when I was about to call her out, Mr. Golden Retriever conveniently, for once, intervened.

“Yo Bella!”

This time I couldn’t suppress the groan.

“I feel like you’ve been avoiding me all day,” he mused. I rolled my eyes and scoffed instinctively.


“Oh. What’s up Jessica? I didn’t see you there.” As if matters couldn’t get any worse, Stanley looked like she was about to pick up a sniper rifle and shoot me in the head. Halo 3 status.

Before she could open her mouth and say anything, Newton diverted his attention back to me. Great.

“So… I was wondering if you had any plans tonight,” he trailed off. “You wanna … y’know… hang out?” Before I could tell him off, yet another intervention occurred. This time from a guy named Tyler Crowley that I noticed was also sitting at our table earlier during lunch.

“Isabella!” I cringed at the name. “You wanna go out?”

I gotta hand it to him. This boy’s got guts. Doesn’t mean it gets him anywhere though.

“Uh, how about no?” I replied. “And it’s Bella.”

“Well, Bella, why not?” he looked at me expectantly. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Because she’s with me,” Mike cut in as Stanley’s jaw dropped to the floor, seething with envy.

“Obviously not because you got Stanley there. Besides, shouldn’t you be at home? Your mom told me you had the Swine Flu.”

Both Stanley and I froze. “You have… the Swine Flu?”

“That’s what I said, Stanley.”

Jessica turned and stared at Mike with utter disbelief. Newton’s face turned a dark shade of crimson as he turned and quickly walked away. We all looked at each other for a moment in shock. Then our senses kicked in – we all high-tailed it to the bathrooms to shower in a vain attempt at ridding ourselves of the Newton flavored Swine Flu virus. Of course, if one of us was contaminated, soap and water wouldn’t have made a difference, but the thought of getting rid of any essence of Newton was fine by me. Ugh. As if he was gross enough, Newton just HAD to get the Swine Flu.

Right as I stepped out of the shower stall, I ran into Angela, who was on her way to the gym. She looked quizzically at me in question.

Newton has the Swine Flu,” I answered her silent question. “Granted, he didn’t exactly have direct contact with me, but I’m pretty sure he touched Stanley.”

Angela stifled a giggle as I checked every inch of my body like I had a germ-scan.

“Honestly though,” I began after I finished my ‘check-up’. “I really hope it’s fatal. I can’t stand Newton. He’s been the same lovesick puppy since I’ve known him. That’s one hell of a long time to be lovesick.”

This time, she couldn’t hold back. Angela, this sweet and quiet girl, was holding her stomach with one hand and onto the stall with the other hand for support as she laughed with tears in her eyes.

“She… hopes… fatal....” She just couldn’t stop laughing. I didn’t know what was so funny. I just looked at her as if she’d grown horns on her cheeks.

“Um… all right then,” I sighed, helping her back onto her feet. “Let’s go. Swine Flu Gym’s about to start.”

And with that, she fell to the ground laughing all over again.




I looked over my shoulder at Jasper, half-drunk and sprawled in the back seat of his brand new white Audi. We had decided to skip Spanish to celebrate him getting a new car. Unfortunately, Whitlock here decided to start the party without me and was already inebriated by the time I walked to the parking lot and found him with his head rested on the steering wheel with a dribble of drool down the side of his mouth. Me, being the awesome friend that I am, decided to haul his ass and shove him in the back seat. He’s gonna thank me for keeping puke out of the front seat.

“What,” I answered after a nice swig of Grey Goose.

“I fucking love her,” he drawled with a shit-eating grin on his face.

I groaned. Here we go again.

You see, my friends, in life… we have many types of drunks. I, happen to be a fun, albeit sometimes a bit aggressive drunk. Whitlock, however, was a sappy drunk. If an ounce of alcohol goes into his system, he starts chirping like the ugliest cherub mankind has ever set sight on.

“She’s so purrrrrrty and horrrrrrrrrrrrrny,” he slurred. “Her tits are always so perrrrrrky and niiiiiiiiiiiiice. Verrrrrrrrrrrrry niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.” He slowly pulled himself into a sitting position and leaned in towards me.

“Watch it Whitlock,” I growled. “I may be your friend, and you may be drunk, and this happens to be your car, but I don’t want no Brokeback shit going on.”

He replied with a giggle and burp.

“Ugh,” I groaned, waving my hand in front of my face in a useless attempt of getting rid of Jasper’s breath.

Suddenly, the passenger door yanked open and Emmett plopped down on the seat. I swear, the car literally slumped to the ground a whole foot. He took a quick look in the backseat and saw that Jasper had fallen onto his back and started snoring.

“What a fucking lightweight,” Emmett joked. He leaned over the seat to get a closer look at Jasper. His eyebrows scrunched up as he fell silent, staring at our passed out friend.

“Careful there, Holmes,” I teased. “Don’t think so hard. It’s not a good look on you. You look like you’re about to shit bricks.”

He looked at me with the same concentrated face. “I am utterly disappointed in you.”

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. Emmett rarely speaks with such intelligence so I immediately knew something was up his sleeve. I was proven correct when he pulled out a Sharpie from his back pocket with a smile.

“I can’t believe you didn’t do it the second he passed out, Cullen,” he grinned. “You’re losing your touch, my man. Wanna do the honors?”

I chuckled as I took the pen from him. “Shall we do the classic?”

“It’s like you read my mind,” Emmett said with a laugh. “Make sure you make the balls extra big and hairy!”

I have to say, drawing a penis was never as fun as it was right this instant. I believe it qualifies as a wonderful childhood activity shared between the bonds of brotherhood between Emmett and I, with Jasper always as our canvas. Of course, I can’t say Whitlock would agree. Oh well, too fucking bad.

Once our masterpiece was done, we both sat back in our seats and resumed the drinking with goofy grins plastered on our faces. Emmett opened a new bottle of Absolut and took a long gulp. I gotta hand it to the guy – he sure can hold his liquor.

“So,” he began with a knowing look on his face. “I’m guessing you checked out the new girl?”

I smirked.

“Let me guess… she’s got a nice pair doesn’t she?” When my smirk grew even cockier, Emmett let out a loud “WHOOP!” and pumped his fist into the air. “Man, Cullen. You always score and you always score big.”

“I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t,” I replied as I bumped my first against his.

“So is she a freak or one of the quiet ones?”

“I haven’t actually fucked her yet,” I said with a devilish smile, “I plan on taking the slow seduction route. I’m going to fucking torture her into insanity. She’s going to be begging me to fuck her by the time I’m through with her.”

“Damn. You sure know how to play dirty.”

“Fuck yeah I do,” I responded smugly. “I was born for this shit.”

“You da man, Cullen,” he said in awe. “You da man.”

“Damn straight I am,” I smirked. “I’m just getting started.”

As we finished off our bottles, I had already started my game plan.

Little girl, by the time I’m done with you, your pussy’s going to be branded with my name: Edward Motherfuckin’ Cullen.

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